Dear Baby's R US,

Dear Baby's R Us, I am writing to you as, if I assume correctly, you make babies. You do, of course, carry all the accessories to my baby so would know who to forward this to in any case. I would like to report a defective baby. My husband and I purchased a 2009 female model in July of 2009. This baby was MUCH larger than expected and arrived 3 weeks after its scheduled delivery, but we overlooked that on account of it's cuteness. We have had this baby for a little over 9 months and have been very happy with her, but have noticed that she does not include the specifications we asked for in our order. I very clearly indicated on the order form that a "sleepy baby" was to be delivered, and even went as far as to highlight the portion of the baby purchase contract where it indicated alertness to insure that we DID NOT receive an "overly alert" baby. Our baby hardly ever sleeps and when she does, it is only in small amounts. Is there a recall that I am unaware of? Is there a floor mat that is getting stuck under her accelerator that we should move? I am terribly afraid she will be unable to stop one of these days, and I will careen into madness. Is there an at home kit I can use to correct this defect? Thank you for your time and I look forward to working on resolving this issue with you,
Lyndsay